We may not able to control everything in our outer world, but surely we can control our inner world.
It’s not so easy to not react, everybody reacts, even I do sometimes. But the question is how long are you going to react?.
If you keep an emotional reaction going on for an extended period of time, you are actually memorizing that emotion into your memory and your body as the unconscious mind is believing it and it is living in the same past experience, 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 365 days in a year you live in the same past experiences.
When you do this your body (unconscious mind) doesn’t know the difference between the real experience that produces the emotions and the emotions produced by thought alone.
So then the emotion reaffirms the state just like you practice affirmations. And then the people start to use the problems and conditions in their life to keep that emotion going.. and we can call that an addiction. So when we become addicted to the very life even we don’t like that very life. It is important then for the people to understand or realize that when you have those moments where you have a crisis or something breakdown that you do have control over it and it’s a formula or it’s a skill. And research shows that you can teach people how to do that.

When you are living by some emotions and there will always be a gap between the way things appear in your life and the way things really are, emotions alter our perception. And if you act during that time you will always say the same things like I should have never said that, I should have never done that, I should have never thought that, I should have never sent that message. So the skill is shortening your emotional reactions. It is a level of intelligence that causes you to recalibrate it. But most people don’t think they have control over it. Those people will say, that person did this to me, that circumstances are the reason I am this way, so then I would tell them, if something in your outer environment is controlling your thoughts and feelings, then you are a victim to your environment. How you think and feel creates your outer world.
If you are thinking and feeling equal to everything that’s known in your present personal reality then you keep creating more of the same personal reality. So to change then you have to think and feel greater than the conditions in your present environment. To do that you have to go to the next level, you are no longer reacting to the same people in the same way, that takes effort, it is not easy in the beginning but once you start practicing you will be better at it. That’s how you come out of that unconscious program of victimization.